The truth about love is…
On my “quest” to find the elusive (and non-existent) ‘ONE’, i’ve began to notice relationships that people are in around me. They mostly (not all!) follow this pattern:
1.) Meet vía social networking media (Book of Face, Twitter, Plenty of Fucks (fish) and various other dating sites).
2.) Have some amazing dates and start gushing to mates about new wonderful person that you have quite literally “found”.
3.)Realise that said “found” new lover has told you a couple of porkies (lies).
4.)Start to cover up porches for new social media bf/gf and make excuses that seem acceptable.
6.)Go on holiday, have amazing time and all badness is forgotten. Begin to plan a future.
7.)The female gets impregnated.
8.) Couple are happy to announce expectant baby all over the internet.
9.)Male in the relationship goes off the rails and cheats when pregnant lady is at home.
10.)Baby is born and all badness is forgotten.
11.)Male cheats again within 8 weeks of baby being born
12.)Female suspects cheating and does exactly the same
13.)Massive epic fights – sometimes violent
14.)Kids get fucked up by fucked up parents
15.) Everyone lives unhappily ever after. THE END.
I’ve seen this story and variations of this story happen too many times over the past 2 years. To real life friends and social media folk. Its made me realise that is “looking” for a man / women ever a healthy thing to do long term??
Another observation that has stayed with me is this;
“When a baby is born, the relationship between a man and a woman breaks down”.
I’ve experienced this first hand – i had my first baby with the so called – love of my life (Ha!) when i was 21 years old. He changed almost instantly towards me. He stopped kissing me, cuddling me and the only time we were intimate was when he fancied abit! When i had my second baby with him, he legged it at top speed and was fucking anything with a pulse in Nottingham (see DJ – in previous blogs). Now , don’t get me wrong, i am not blaming my babies for the relationship breakdown AT ALL! It was mainly the DJ’s fault and the rest was mine. He had a bad track record with women and my body changed from a pert 20 year olds to a whale in the space of 9 months – he was shocked, i was shocked and then – once the baby is out, the woman is left tearful, tired and stuck with the body of a deflated balloon. Yes, babies are soooo cute and i wouldn’t change anything about mine- HOWEVER – a baby is for life , not just for christmas…. and it means you’ll always have a tie with the other parent for the rest of your life!!!!
One of my friends, had a baby with a guy after over 5 years together. She thought she couldd trust him implicitly. He had even took on her child which she had from another relationship. So when the time came for them to have a baby together, she was relaxed about it and thought she had nothing to worry about. Baby arrived, and the dirty little bastard started up 1 affair (that she knows of) with a work colleague.
Another lady friend i know has a turbulent relationship with her fella, they already had 5 kids between them from past failed relationships. They planned a baby and she got the little girl she’d always dreamed of – after having two strapping boys. In my opinion they are as bad as each other. She let him see her give birth to their baby when he was coked up to the eyeballs after a 2 day bender. He went out to wet the babies head – for 3 days! She keeps letting him back with feeble excuses of “i love him” , “i can help him”, “he’s told me some bad shit he has never told anyone”, “i need help with the baby” and the most recent was “I need him to finish off the decorating!!!”.
People need to get respect for themselves, each other and most of all the children. We need to take it back to the old school where men were gentlemen (hold doors, pull out chairs – easy on the swears) and gals need to be more ladylike (no one night stands – sends out the wrong signal AND no ; you are not “one of the lads” YOU ARE A LADY!!! FFS!!!
My parents had epic rows when we were kids- she walked out a couple of times (for about 6 hours) , but dad and her always worked it through and they worked TOGETHER. They compromised and 45 years since they first met… this year, they celebrated their ruby wedding anniversary (40 years!). I wrote in their anniversary card of how proud i am to have parents that are still together.
I’m open to this thing we call love, but not searching or expecting…
In the words of one of my favourite singers:
The truth about love is … its all a lie
“Love”, Jem x