So I’m gonna blog about two men last weekend that left my life as soon as they came into it.
So … First one was damion – a 25 year old off plenty of fish. He messenged me only a couple of times before asking me out for some dinner and asked when I was free. He was 6ft tall, dark haired and his pictures looked nice. So I thought “why not?!”. I explained that I had friends down at the weekend but then after chatting to my mates they suggested asking him to meet us for a drink (which also meant I don’t meet wired Internet guys alone! BONUS). To my surprise damion (I know let’s not go there with the god /hell jokes) , said yes and we arranged to meet. Just before we walked into the bar iPad a horrible feeling in my gut and didn’t wanna meet him. Gut instinct. My mates thought it was just nerves and to my surprise my mates spotted damo before I did.
FUCK he had BAD hair! He looked good from the front but gel overload and fin spokes at the back … Eeww. And looked like a child. Anyway we were chatting and I tried to make a bad situation good. My female friend offered us a drink and to my surprise the cunt accepted without hesitation. No offer of getting us one. It clearly states on my profile that I want a gentleman ffs!!!
Anyway… In the next bar he then followed us to, he got just me and him a drink – didn’t even offer to get my mates one back!!! I was mad, my mates were mad. He shouldn’t of accepted a drink if he didn’t intend to buy one back?!!! Plus on a first date the man should always try to pay even if he never plans to splash the cash again! Tightwad cunt. So me and my mates met near the loos and I said I’d had enough of making small talk with the idiot… He was asking loads of questions about my kids dad (see previous blog post for low down on that cunt too). Luckily. Emma my knight in shinning armour got rid of him. Yes we had to be rude but to be honest he was rude too soon point wasting anymore of the evening on him.
Then we went to a club.
Que dickhead number 2. The doorman. Now me and the doorman have abit of history. We have known each other for 5 years. I dated him for a short time on one of the many “breaks” I was having with the boys dad when he was around-ish. The doorman and me drifted apart as we both had unsettled shit with our exes whom we both had children with. However, the doorman would take me home , sleep over (no sex at all) , cuddle me all night and leave the next day and I’d never see him until the next time I was drunk and out. We used to kiss and cuddle but let me stress… We NEVER had any sexual contact… No groping, no tongue snogs, no sexy time. He was a gent and never took advantage of me when I was drunk. Which made me like him even more.
Well about two years ago, I took him back to mine after some dirty chav bit his face whilst doorman was throwing him out the club. I cleaned up his face and it hit me. I loved this man. I asked him to stay (as he had so many times). But this time he said no. He had to go…. I started to cry and admitted I loved him. He walked out as soon as I said it and left me crying.
So I avoided him for a year.
Got over it, as you do.
I was out at Christmas for the college girls Xmas do. We ended up at that bastard club and I was pissed. We couldn’t take our eyes off each other. It was always like that. He was the only one in the room and I know he felt the same. But he was holding holding back. As I got more and more drunk I noticed he kept talking to women, he had a little fan club of little girls in little outfits, hugging and kissing him! I was proper fucked off. I went over to “chat” and called him a nob, to which he called me a dirty little slag… And we didn’t speak since. Iv been in that club numerous times since completely blanked the twat
UNTIL Saturday night. He spotted me the second I walked in. I could feel his eyes burning into me.i wasn’t drunk at all so in control of myself. And I knew I looked the best shape iv looked for years. Working out has made me more body confident DEFINATELY!! For over an hour I blanked him. Kept feeling his eyes on me but was too busy dancing and bumped into an old girl I knew from school, so was chatting for abit.
I went to the ladies and when I came out , he was there , leaning against the wall with an almost shy smile on his face. He has great teeth. Mixed race, muscly etc. he grabbed me straight away and kissed my cheek, i smelt his familiar Clinique aftershave and melted altitude bit…okay…alot!
So, we chatted for a good ten minutes, whilst he was working. He spoke about his little boy and I showed him a picture of my boys and how they look now. He said he never stopped loving me…. “whaaaaat?!!!!!!” he FUCKING SAID HE LOVED ME!???!????
I kept it together and just told him he never gave it a chance and he said he hated women. I told him how iv not slept with anyone for over a year and my reasons behind it. He was impressed. But before the convo got awkward I gave him a peck on his cheek and said I’d see him later.
Later on me and my male friend (who was shit faced ) sat and was trying to take pictures of two larger than life creatures making out in a dark booth. I tried to beckon the doorman over to laugh with him and get them removed as they were humping abit. The doorman took all this the wrong way and thought I was sitting next to my boyfriend (wrong) , was taking the piss out of him (wrong) and trying to wind him up (wrong!) for fuck sake. So he came over, whispered in my ear “I’m not playing this game” and shouted to my male mate – “take care of her mate , she’s special”. WHAT!!!!
So I thought fuck you and we went to play on a games machine. The room in the club we was in was closing but I still had 50p credit in my “deal or no deal” game – which I was not gonna leave :). So me andmy male pal were playing on this machine and doorman had the cheek to try to get us to leave. I said we were just finishing out game and then jokingly said “what ya gonna do if i don’t leave?” and winked. He cracked a smile and I explained he’d got the wrong end of the stick. To which he announced to my mate “im in love with this girl and have been for years” OH MY FUCKING GOD!!!! AGAIN!!!!! He then whipped out his phone and got his number up and told me to put it in my phone.
I made sure I entered the digits properly and got my mate to double check. I liked him mucho.
Well, I text him that evening saying i thought what he said in front of my mate was lovely . No reply. Left it till 3pm the next day and sent him a message just saying I’m disappointed he never got back to me . And I am. But then again I’m not… Cos he would always be like this and iv had enough of unobtainable men.
So I’m back to being me again. No dates lined up and seriously considering saying buh-bye to the aquatic dating site i call plenty of fucks.
After 3 longs years of being out of a relationship I’m longing for a mate I can warm my cold feet on, in time for winter. We can’t rush these things -I know. But I’ve been sooooo patient! I even dated a guy with zero personality and a receding hairline for gawds sake. But as the dating commandments states “thou shalt not be desperate”… I think the time has come to withdraw (pardon the pun) from actively seeking males.
You dicks can find me, in the corner with my wine, fags and weights:)
Ps… We got a pic of the dude Damion before I sacked it off … Here it is 🙂