All posts tagged dating

No spark, No cigar!

Published September 6, 2013 by jjjemma


Long time no speak!

I kinda thought that i’d try keeping my private life…. private.

I succeeded. For a little while :0


So as a few of you know, I found a good ‘un off POF.

This guy, I’ll call him Big G, was a good catch.


He was 26 (2 years younger than me), no kids, good job, own place and car.

He was into football played it – and watching it.


So Big G (this was my nickname for him, as his name begins with “g” and I was just being daft one evening).


Big G and I spoke very briefly through POF before he asked for my number and got straight onto asking and arranging a date with myself. I liked this. No messing around at all.


He wasn’t in my face texting all day, he would text good morning and then we’d usually text evening time.


The day of our date, i had no “good morning” text.

I stayed pretty cool. My mate came over to babysit and asked if he’d been in touch. I said “NO”.


I wasn’t too pissed off and i was quite chilled and not bothered by it all.

So many blokes have fucked me about that i think i have built a pretty tough wall around myself now. 


I was running late, said bye to my mate and off i went.


Arrived, 20 minutes late! He had a wine waiting for me andddddd GORGEOUS!!!!




He pulled out a chair for me to sit! – Noone has EVER done that.

we had a good laugh, easy chat. When we was leaving he walked me to my car and put the moves straight on me!!!!

Snog, snog , snog!!!


My legs were like jelly man! I got in my car and had to wind the window down to ask him how to get out the carpark (cringer!!!). He told me and then leant in and kissed me again.


I virtually skipped home and told my mate all about it!!!


The next day he friend requested me on Facebook and text mornings and evenings.


We arranged the second date for the following week. He asked me and we decided on bowling. I offered to pick him up as he lives near the bowling alleys andthen he could have a drink. 


We spoke every day again, and yet again, on the date of the date he went all silent.

I again stayed very chilled and eventually he texted his address and i went to pick him up.


The second date was really fun. He payed for bowling and kicked my ass at it. We had a laugh. I nearly killed him via an air hockey disk… it was all gravy.


He invited me in his house when i dropped him off. I went in and he made me a tea – I like that he did that. He gave me the tour of his house – it was lovely.

we sat chilling on his sofa till gone midnight and then i had to go as I had the kids to get up for. Again we had a little kiss and off I went.


At the weekend, it was bank holiday. Both of us by chance were out with our mates on the piss. He text me and came to meet me with his mates. Awesome i thought!!!

Drunk “big g” and me would have a right laugh. 


he came an found me, he awkward. No kiss, no offer to get me a drink, no banter – TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON AROUND HIS MATES. Then, he just fumed off to the other side of the bar with his mates, so me and my mates left.


I wasn’t too pissed off as I was having a laugh with my mates. I text him the name of the bar we were headed too but never got a reply.


Around 1 am I had a text off Big G, saying he’d taken his drunk mate home.  Then, offering me to go back to his!


I was having a mint time with my girls , plus I was child free for the night… No way was I gonna cut my night short for anyone.

I told him that I would probably go his later as I was having a good time.


He then said not to.


But by the time i’d read that it was 3am, I was smacked off my face on jagerbombs and in a taxi en route to his 🙂


I banged on his door, armed with a massive bag of crisps from the garage. He answered, half asleep and in nothing but a pair of shorts. I was in no fit state. He made me a cup and then I asked for a tshirt to go kip in. He gave me a t shirt and then we went to bed. I must of slipped into a coma at that point as i woke up at 5 am, mouth dryer than ghandi’s flip flop and sweating buckets . The alcohol sweats! He had his arm clamped around me and was snoring PURE loud.


I dozed in and out of sleep. To be honest, its been years since vie been in bed with anyone with their arms around me so it felt kind of weird and i wasn’t comfortable. I also stared t his snoring carcass and decided I didn’t really fancy him. 


In the morning I acted really hungover to keep him at arms length. 


He dropped me home.


I wasn’t going to see him again, but slowly I thought and thought about it and decided to see him one more time. I felt like maybe  I was being too picky and at the end of the day – WHO AM I TO BE PICKY?????!!!


So, we had a few texts and bait of banter but at this point i’d really gone off him and i think he picked up on it as he didn’t text that much either but he kept asking to see me again.


My friend was up from down south with his gf and i’d not seen him for over 10 years. We arranged to meet for drinks and I offered Big G  to come along too.


To my surprise Big G agreed. I tried to include him in the convos between me and my old mate but to be fair it was just bait awk.



By this point i’d completely gone off Big G and in the carpark gave him a quick cuddle and a peck and drove off.


Big G is still oblivious to this, so I tried to let him know by texting him telling him that i really didn’t feel a spark and that i am sad as he ticks the boxes. 


Big G had a Facebook status meltdown “gutted” and ranted via text. Eventually i agreed to just keep seeing him to see if anything developed. We arranged dinner for tonight.


Yesterday, Big G basically “liked” everything I wrote / commented or uploaded on Facebook – even to the point of liking my mates replies to me!


He then whatsapped me a pic of himself, topless, with his tits out, and his stubble shaved into a fucking goatee!!!!! With the caption ” do you like my goatee?”




That was one step too far. I text him and said I cannot see him again and that I am really sorry etc.


He replied “no probs”


i left it


Then, 2 mins later he said ” to be honest i don’t know if i even want a gf as i like playing football, going work and going to the gym”.


I know at this point that he was just saving face, so i went along with it and replied:

“yeh i get that vibe off you too and i think i realised you weren’t bothered too much too”:


he replied ” Id like to keep seeing you to see if anything became of it. be happy”


I ignored.


He tried to ring.


I ignored.


He tried again.


I ignored.


He then text asking me to ring him.


I ignored.


He text again saying he’s not a weirdo and wont keep bothering me. But, if i ever want a chat to call him.




I just couldn’t bring myself to keep seeing someone without a spark. Was I wrong??


The end… and why

Published March 13, 2013 by jjjemma

Hi all.

I’m feeling quite charged with emotion today so i’m going to try and depict why i’m leaving twitter and not blogging again.

I don’t know where to begin… I guess i’ll tell the whole story.

So, myself and “boyband” met for lunch on pancake day last month. It went well for an initial meeting – he’s tall, funny, handsome and well, just a nice guy. Anyway, we both got really busy with life and work and we didnt meet up again untill last tuesday – for lunch again. Boyband had been out in town a few weekends in a row and had suggested meeting but i was always otherwise engaged.

So, second lunch… went REALLY well. In my opinion there was a spark and we had similar humor. I knew he liked long haired girls and i had just had mine all chopped off – but he complimented me and said he liked it. After the second lunch we spoke pretty much daily. I’ll happilly admit that i was really quite happy and excited by what may come of this. I’ve never found anyone that ticks all the boxes… and other than him being lazy with communication sometimes he was pretty much perfect.

Then last weekend i went to Butlins skegness with a group of friends. We had a brilliant time and “boyband” and myself were texting daily and exchanged some drunk texts too – which ended with me leaving him an incoherent but hilarious voicemail. We’d arranged for him to come round mine for dvd and wine – it was arranged for yesterday. I was super excited.

On the last night at Butlins an epic row broke out within my friendship group – me being in the centre of it. I was drunk for most of the holiday and actually think it turned me into a total paranoid prick. One sceaming match later and i’d almost ended a very good friendship with someone I spend alot of time with – over NOTHING.

So last night before boyband came over , I text her just saying “lets not end the friendship because of a drunk row” shes coming round mine friday and we are gonna talk and snog lol. So hopefully it will get sorted as I actually really hate confrontation. I’m too old for drama!

Back to last night – so “Boyband” came round mine at 8 and we ordered chinese and drank wine. I let him choose the dvd to watch as im so laid back im almost horizontal.

He looked proper hot when he turned up all casual chic. He’s tall he’s got a lovely smile and twinkly eyes. Well, I think that I was abit delirious from the holiday as my voice has almost gone and sounds like gravels been swallowed. I was proper hyper and talked his ears off and was joking about. Thats my persona. Im in a happy bubble and i wanna stay that way. At one point we even went through my POF and was laughing at all the “original” messeges i get. I really thought the night went well. I was comfortable in his presence and even put his size 9 hi-tops on for a lugh as i’m a size 3 and they looked hilare.

He left fairly early it was just gone 11pm. No kiss just a hug and a “see you soon”.

I text him to thank him for coming over and suggested going out at the weekend.

He text back saying “awww you’re lovely, a laugh and i enjoy your company-

this is gonna sound really poo but i’m just not sure if its romantic or mates”


I kept my reply very cool and said i did wonder why he didnt kiss me.

He then said he didnt feel it appropriate to go there. he respects me blah blah blah – basically “friend-zoned” me.

He then said he thinks heis not ready or bothered with the whole dating thing and that hes sure i wont have trouble finding someone as im a top bird.


Went to bed with the hump.

I’ve not contacted him and nor will I now.

Maybe i was too much? He did say I swore loads (but its not like he didnt!!)

Maybe it was the short hair? The honesty? Maybe he just didnt fancy me.

Maybe this was his plan all along??? – He has read these blogs remember … and he said via text that “maybe” he would be the one to put an end to my blogs… WELL HE WAS RIGHT THERE …I’ve had enough of over-sharing. He was probably scared id blog about him. Maybe he was getting revenge for all the men ive pissed off.

Maybe i’m just over thinking.

So today I give up twitter, my blog and POF.

I’m so disheartened by this guy not liking me back. It was like the final nail in the coffin for me. I feel tired. Maybe i tried to hard. I am a people pleaser. Its nice to be nice and all that.

I did a cancer patients hair at college yesterday and she was so very open with me. She spoke of how “you never think its gonna be you” and that when it hits you and you realise you may die you panic and start thinking of all the things you wished you had done.

Well that comment has got me thinking. The kids dad always checks my twitter and blog – we don’t speak so its like a psycho game we are playing. I’m always on my phone tweeting my fucking life away to people i’l probably even meet. Instead of sitting with my folks and giving them my FULL attention. Or getting down on the floor and playing with my boys. And even reading a book from start to finish… i cant remember the last time i did that. Twitter for me is like a crutch. It makes me feel loved and funny and gives me attention. I’ve turned into an attention whore with my “Look at me” pictures. The bitchiness amongst cliques is rediculous too. Drama I dont need.

My blog – the place I slate all the men that were nice enough to take me out. I come across as a manhater/eater. A frequent over-sharer.

The thing is – most of you don’t even know the actual real, vulnerable, intelligent girl behind all this.

Boybands knockback was probably the best thing he could of done. It has made me realise so much. I’m nowhere near perfect. I have so much to do with my life and actually need to start making these memories.

If i never meet the one – so what?!

Shit dates – are shit!

I give up on all for now. I’ve got to focus on my kids, my family, my friends and my business. I have to find the real me again.

I loved every second on twitter but its just the right time to make positive changes.


I’m not shutting this blog down or deactivating my twitter i’m just deleting the apps from my phone and you never know one day I may shock you all and come back. Maybe i’ll have a happy ending to tell you all about!

Thank you everyone for being my mates. I love you all and will miss you, but i am excited to try to live a normal life without my phone in my hand

Any comments on where i went wrong with boyband would be appreciated!

Ta ta for now

Love Jemma


Pancake day!!!

Published February 10, 2013 by jjjemma

2 weeks ago, I got drunk and rang boyband. We got on really well on the phone, banter and he sounded lovely. He even said I sounded nice after and thought I wasn’t a nutter anymore… but then stopped talking after a few days … It just sloped off. 😦

So then last Monday we arranged to have coffee sometime over the next week… The. Conversation sloped off again. I didn’t mind. I knew he was busy with work and my week was pretty hectic with college and the kids.

So, Friday night… Went out with my pals. Lots of shots and drinks and dancing. I literally fell in love with the Dj when he played a 5ive,b*witched melody – a nod towards the telly box show I LURVE “the big reunion”.
Anyways, we were rapping along to 5ive tunes (we were surprised at how much we remembered!!!), having a quality night.

I danced with folk, even had a chat to a lovely lad called Adam – but he was very shy and said he had no kids , then later admitted to having a son but not ever seeing him 👊👎✋ BYEEEEEEE

Now, I’m not sure why it happened, maybe I was drunk / waiting to long at the bar / having a moment… But I text boyband!!!

Fuck. My. Actual. Life.

At 2.21am (why would I even of thought he was awake at this time?!)
I text him saying:
“You are weird”

Lucky for me that’s all I text cos I could of wrote so much more- I’m the girl who yells abuse at taxi drivers when I’m drunk. If I feel they are driving too fast, I will shout obscenities for them playing “god” and comprising my life”

😓 I’m basically , a nob!

When I woke up, hunger over to FUCK, Saturday morning. I checked my phone and saw a message from “boyband” , waiting to be opened. Horror overcame me. I thought he might of actually had enough of my silly mental crap.

His message read:
Awww thank you 😊 so very complimentary lol.

Sorry I am rubbish at times I know. 😳💥🔫xx

Aww! 😋 He was kind! And we’ve arranged the coffee (which has now turned into lunch) for Tuesday!

I’m excited to meet this one! He’s very funny and I guess him being all cool has kept me interested – which is a rarity as I usually find boredom-central with fellas v. Rapidly!

So , pancake day will be the day that I get to report back on mr gorge boyband 🙂

Laters 💋😂





The Youth Of Today

Published January 2, 2013 by jjjemma

Does anyone remember Aaron… The 21 year old stud from the post “the eventful evening”.

Well!!!! Let me tell you all that has developed!!!

Little , sweet, gorgeous Aaron, has been texting me constantly over xmas. Including several times on Christmas Day. Then a few days later he began WhatsApping me. Which i was happy to oblige with flirting etc. I asked why he had come over to Whatsapp rather than texting me suddenly and he said “cos I aint used this before”.
Okay, fair enough Jemma thought.

So Aaron continued to elaborate on how much he wanted to kiss my sexy body all over /lick me all over / Can’t wait to come to leicester SO BAD etc etc …. (those were his words btw)

So, today, for some reason I went on Facebook and there was Aarons status update
” Taking my gorgeous gf to arsenal at the end of the month… i will covert you ;p” (and tagged “said” gf in the post)

HOLD. THE. FUCK. UP….!!!!!!!


So I made a fresh brew, plugged the mac book in and turned on “stalk-mode”. As a few of you may know from this postwhen I suspect a situation is any less than kosher, I turn into fully blown stalker girl.

So I clicked on aforementioned girlfriends profile. She looked about 19, nose piercing and without sounding like a bitch, average. – I mean, come on… I have “grown” into myself… as I am sure she will…

Anyways, said she was in a relationship with him since Dec 25th. Christmas day – when he spent a lot of it texting ME!
Looked through her profile pics and there was one of HIM and HER on November 4Th 2012 looking loved up. Went down her timeline, and saw she had been “in a relationship” with Aaron in Sept 2012 and June 2010. Basically, it looks like they have been on/off for a very long time. I am sure of one thing … I bet she doesn’t know of ME and I bet thats why he has swerved our little frisky chats over to Whatsapp! CUNT!

So.. I played it very innocent with Aaron. I went onto Whatsapp and said “Oh gosh I didnt realise you had a GF”

He replied:”Only just got one… you were too far away haha”
I replied: “You were too young for me anyway!”
He replied: “Never too young!Well if nothing was to happen at least I met a lovely woman out of it :)”

I replied: 🙂

He replied:”If you’d of came back to my hotel I wouldnt of been a good boy 🙂 xxxx”

I replied: “really?” (at this point fuming)
His response: “yeh course – i was besotted with YOU”

I havent replied. HE hasn’t been straight with me here has he?! “I just got a gf” —- REALLY?!!!

Now, I have 3 choices here…

1.) Keep quiet, pretend he doesn’t exist and delete off Facebook

2.) Tell his girlfriend, break the girls heart (she will prob go back to him anyway) and fuck him over – SURELY THESE DICKS NEED TO GET WHATS COMING TO THEM?! He dry humped me all over The Fan Club ffs!!!!!

3.) Scare the little player senseless and tell him if he doesn’t be straight with me then I’m gonna tell his gf about our night of “passion” *evil laugh* muhahahahaha!!!

I havent decided what to do. I am not sure I want the drama. However, on the flip side if i was the girl then I would want to be told! Lets not forget, 2 days ago, that little RUNT was planning to take me out when he is down here in 12 weeks!!!

What shall I do??????


Loves Jem xxx




A good date!!

Published December 30, 2012 by jjjemma

The Best Date. Ever.

Considering I always blog about all my recent bad dates, I have been thinking today of all the GOOD dates I’ve been on.
So today I am going to tell you about the best date of my life.👍
You are probably all expecting flash cars, squandering money and posh surroundings.. but no. This date was not that. This date is one date that I will always look back upon as an amazing example of when things go good.

I met this guy via MSN – back in the olden days when it was cool to IM people you don’t know and abuse randoms when drunk with friends (or was that just me who did that?). I used to write a lot of poetry and publish it on my blog space via MSN. This guy had read some and we chatted randomly on MSN. This was around 8 years ago, I was 20 and was constantly in an on/off relationship with my children’s father (see DJ 😡)
Anyways during an “off” period with Dj, MSN Man asked me out for some drinks. I was 19 , he was 24. We met in a bar in town. He was tall, fair (not my usual type) and extremely gorgeous. He was a proper mans man – abit rough round the edges. We had a few drinks, got on really really well and it was like we had known each other forever. He told me he wanted to settle and couldn’t find a girl who also wanted to settle – KERCHING!!!❤

The night slipped away, it was about 1 am and we found ourselves in a tiny bar drinking whiskey and cokes, followed by concoctions of shots that I had never had in my life. We were laughing, joking and flirting – it was all just so easy! He suggested we go on to a club – which at this point I was more than up for as I was wasted (as was he). We were both hungry and decided to nip in McDonalds en route to the club. Now, as we crossed the road we were trying to trip each other over and were basically being drunk idiots. I was running away when he slurred “Jemma. Wait!!!” I stopped and turned around, when my eyes eventually focussed on him he was staggering across the road towards me, pointing at me, saying “i’m going to kiss you.” I was giggling and shouted “Well hurry up then” – and thats what he did…
…In the middle of the road, pissed as newts, he grabbed me and we had the BEST kiss of my life (I am actually smiling recalling this). It wasn’t a sloppy, lazy kiss, it was gentle and soft and meaningful. I guess you could say we had a “moment”.😘💥💫🌟
We went to a club in town, found a quiet corner where we sat talking and drinking and kissing for the last hour. When we went to get taxis, there were NONE! So we started walking through town towards mine, as I lived on the outskirts of the City centre anyway. We randomly found an abandoned shopping trolley and without warning, he picked me up and put me in it and pushed me all the way up the hill to my flat! We were laughing so hard the whole time. When we got to my door, he picked me back out of it, cuddled me and kissed me before telling me he’d had an amazing night.

What a perfect night that was!

Unfortunately, I was young and a total twat. I was so obsessed with my then future kids dad at the time, that when DJ begged me back (as he always did) a few days later, I didn’t give MSN Man a second thought! I got back with the DJ idiot and then got pregnant with our first child, Alfie.

MSN Man was NEVER pushy and we remained good friends. When I was 8 months pregnant with Alfie, I moved out of the home i’d shared with DJ (we lived together 7 weeks before I discovered numerous naked picture messages on his phone to his ex / randoms and customers). 👊👊👊

I moved into my new place and MSN Man wanted to meet me to cheer me up as I felt horrendous. We met for a coffee. He was amazing. The moment he saw me he grinned from ear to ear. I felt like a whale. He embraced my bump and rubbed it and told me how beautiful and “glowing” I looked – this was move than my unborn babies father had EVER done. He treated me like an angel and he told me that he didn’t care that I was having a baby. He said he would wait until I was ready to move on as I was worth it. We parted with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

I had Alfie 4 weeks later. The Dj came back on the scene, demanding that I gave him a DNA test on our baby and that if the baby turned out to be his (which it OBVIOUSLY was), then he would give our relationship a proper shot. I was 21, alone, scared and with a brand new baby to care for. A baby that wasn’t planned. I’d never held a baby in my adult years , so Alfie taught me how to be a mum the day he was born. I didn’t want to be a single mum and somewhere deep inside, I was still in love with DJ. I wanted to erase the past. So I did the DNA test and he came back. For a week! He then would turn his phone off to go to the casino to gamble late at night whilst I was doing the night feeds with our 4 week old baby. He would cut me off when I would try to ring him. He would intermittently come back for a few days at a time to have some sex and then leave again. Leaving me in bits. I ended up with an eating disorder after he threw a comment about his ex (whom he has 2 daughters with), losing her baby weight faster than I did. I was a mess.

Needless to say, I lost MSN Man along the way. I treated him appallingly. I was in and out of a horrendous abusive relationship and my heart wasn’t even mine to truly give back then.

MSN Man and myself are still friends. He is on my Facebook and he has a beautiful little girl and a fiance. They have had their ups and downs – but you know what? They’ve worked at it and they are happy. I am so pleased for them both, he is a top bloke.

And me? Well after Friday Nights date (See: First date etiquette), I am not feeling the dating scene much. Yet after sitting in my kitchen on my MacBook, and reminiscing about one of the few wonderful men that I HAVE stumbled across in my dating history…. Well I’m filled with excitement for the new year that is approaching!
What is it that Aaliyah sang?
*Dust yourself off an try again*

Bring on my 2013 dates 🙂
Jem xxx


The eventful evening

Published December 9, 2012 by jjjemma

I added a man off of “POF” onto my facebook a few months ago.
he seemed nice enough and of course was very complimentary. We spoke a few times but i was busy and my mum was away so we didnt speak again. one morning I woke up to a messege in my inbox from this dude (see screen grabs at the bottom of this blog post)

Anyway – the messages made me laugh so much that I decided to give this guy a chance. We’ll call him psycho boy. You’ll see why in abit! We arranged to meet last night. I was in Coventry all day yesterday and I didn’t hear from him – we’d arranged the date via Facebook and swapped numbers but not had any banter or anything! So I text asking if we could skip dinner and meet abit later for drinks as I had to get kids to my mums etc. Over an hour and a half later he replied! Saying yes that’s fine. So I raced around like a CUNT, sorting the kids and getting ready. I walked into the bar and saw him instantly. He was short, he looked a combination of two of my ex’s : the Dj and Ricardo the Portuguese puppy love. He was short , dark hair , and was wearing converse style pumps and a black ribbed jumper for a Saturday night date. I expected shoes and a t shirt – smart fucking casual! Anyway! I decided that as I was out already I was gonna just enjoy his company.
He didn’t compliment me and seemed abit cold. Maybe he was nervous.
So , he got me a few drinks, we traded bad date stories – he had a few. Turns out he was a regular “pof-er”. He had had numerous shite dates with weird women. I ledd most of the conversations and started most topics. He was pleasant enough but he attitude was abit off… For example, he said he went out with an ugly bird and used her for “practise” for his next date, and then he said his ex whom he had kids with wasn’t entitled to half the house the shared, even tho she had his kids and was with him 7 years? 👎 We Spoke about our kids. Then he asked if I wanted anymore and I said no I didn’t think so.😱
Anyway, after a couple of drinks went to another bar and we had a couple more drinks- then I asked about his ex. He told me he was still married after a year and a half of break up (didn’t tell me that before) ,also he has his kids 70% of the time (again,didn’t think to tell me this before) and went on a mad rant about his mental ex and how much she cheated on him for about 20 mins. I sat there literally thinking – what the actual fuck. I was watching his mouth twisting during his rant and blurring out most of it.
It was awk! But he was totally fine with his rant and then finished it off by saying he’d had the snip (vasectomy!) just before he found out his wife was a serial bitch cheat! – his words!
And!! He said he’d get it reversed – ewww! 😩
Anyway , I suggested we have a shot ( I fooking needed one) -we had a Sambucca and then we went to sit down again, so I put my jacket on and said I was going to the toilet .
I went loo and it was about 50 meters away from where the psycho was sitting so I’d never be able to escape unnoticed. Plus we were upstairs in a bar and I was in skyscraper heels so he’d easily catch me walking out. In hindsight, I should of just said “this really isn’t going to work” and left, however, I’m too bloody nice to be able to say it to his face, so decided to do a runner. Yes, I am a wimp!!! 😑
Luckily I got in the loo and 2 young girls were in there who had been dancing near us.
I literally interrupted there convo – quickly explained that my date was a fail and that I needed someone to shield me so I could get out.
They KNEW my date as he drinks in their local and they said he was a WIERDO. Luckily these females were tall and I am short so it worked perfectly!! They shielded me to the staircase and I legged it!! They were waving at me as I ran down 52 steps to the exit and blew me kisses!!! I ❤girls like that!!!
Once outside, I walked pretty damn fast and was lookin for a taxi. I ended up walking through town and then some old black dude (he looked like the “oracle” from The Matrix) started talking to me asking for a fag – gave him one and he asked why I was alone. At this point I was laughing and told him I’d ran from a bad date. He then said he was homeless and had no luck with girls. He asked for my number and I said yes as I just wanted to get away. Again, me being a wimp! To be honest I’d had a fair bit to drink and didnt want to piss off a homeless person, ESPECIALLY when I was on my own in town at 1am! By this point I was walking past a club and there was a taxi rank. He didn’t have a phone as he was homeless so he went off to find a pen! Haha- I wasn’t gonna give him my number btw I just didn’t wanna make the homeless guy get angry and kill me or something. Anyway I was about to hail a cab and homeless guy grabbed me and said a girl had offered her liquid eyeliner so I could write my number on his arm!!!
Argh!!! 😯
I quickly scrawled a fake number on his arm , whilst I was doing this – the lovely female who’d leant the liquid eyeliner was asking wtf was I doing giving the homeless man my number and why I was alone – I quickly told her about my date disaster whilst standing outside the club and said I was going home.
She said her mate had pulled in the club and asked me if I wanted to go in with her. Ditched the homeless dude and went in the club! She was a quality girl! She looked abit like Kelly Osborne, edgy and funky style. Her name was Odette. I didn’t pay to get in the club, as i have a hand tattoo that looks abit like the stamps you get when you enter a club. So I flashed that and walked in for FREE!! Bonus 😊 We were dancing,drinking and doing shots. Then we went for a fag. A fit man came and asked for a light. His mates had left him and he was from near London. Odette asked what his name was, and he said “guess”, so we both guessed and I got it right!!! He was so shocked! I asked how old he was next, and again, he said “guess”. I said “21”? RIGHT AGAIN! We was all laughing and joking and he was HAWT! I’ve posted a pic below cos I dont think i could do him justice in a description. So he came in the club and after some more drinks and dancing he pulled me to one side and he was proper smitten with me! He couldn’t believe I was 28 and had 2 kids ,he kept shaking his head and saying he couldn’t believe he’d met me. He asked me to go back to his hotel after a few racy snogs, on the dance floor, against a wall and on a sofa in a booth at the club. I told him I was frigid hahaha- and I wouldn’t go back to his hotel – he said that made him like me more.His battery had died as he took it out to take my number,so he rang his phone off mine & left himself a voicemail telling himself to call me as I was the fittest girl he’d ever seen! 😘
Then he found himself on Facebook on my phone and friend requested himself! He kissed me a million times! I was SO tempted to go back to his hotel!!! I’ve not felt tempted before last night! I could defo feel something tempting pressing against my body as we kissed! I proper felt 16 again 😍 I was laughing telling him he’d be mortified for snogging an OAP tomorrow. He frowned – I remember actually telling him off :- “don’t frown, you look much more attractive when you smile” .

Got in at 4.30am he put me in a taxi and paid 🙂

But what happened to psycho boy i hear you cry?!!
Well, i had 8 missed calls from him and several texts ranging from concerned, to worried, to angry, to totally schizo!! His last text to me was “i deserve a reason for you just leaving, tonight has gone from the best night of my life – to the worst”
I did reply, last night, and said “I’m sorry but you ranted about your ex too much ”

And that was that! I deleted him quick time from Facebook this morning! And whilst I was on there I saw that the Fit boy had accepted my friend request and Odette had added me on there too! at 11am I got a messege from fit boy asking for my number and i gave him it. It probably wint go anywhere as he is so young and lives an hour and a half away, but it was fun!
-and it sure put a smile on my face!!!





The finale!!! Part 3 : The Tale Of The Ginge

Published November 12, 2012 by jjjemma

Last Friday, i woke up feeling like i’d been hit by a truck. My main emotion was betrayal and the overwhelming sense that i’m a gullible dickwad.
Ginge was frantically texting around mid afternoon and the text that broke me was “i know we are not in a relationship but have some decency and courtesy to reply at least!”

FUCK YOUUUUUUU!!!!! i replied a simple but effective “Like you did?”

He had no idea or remorse about ignoring me and lying?!!

After speaking with my closest pal that evening, i decided to give him a chance to admit some of his lies.
My friend pointed out a number of things:
1.) She could be a woman scorned and lied about everything
2.) I have been badly hurt in the past and could be looking for things to go wrong
3.) Even if he did do them things to her, he may of changed as it was a few years ago, plus everyone billy bullshits when you meet someone you like and want to impress them

so i text him. I asked him if “this” was really him. I told him i would like him regardless of job status, celebrity ex girlfriends etc. i told him he was funny and that i would still like him even if he worked in Asda.
He admitted NOTHING.
He even suggested that i was insecure and that just because he is a decent guy, i shouldn’t knock him down.

So , i told him that a friend of mine had done some research on him and that he never was in an actual relationship with the celeb.
He started ranting, saying he couldn’t believe it and that they were together over a year and that my friends are misinformed.
He then BLOCKED me on Facebook!
– Very dodgy move!!!

I asked why he had blocked me on there and also asked why he was still living at home if he was a hot shot businessman… (why not ? i had fuck all to lose AND, i am a fucker for getting the truth).

He said because he had moved back here after splitting with his LA girlfriend. He didn’t know whether to move to London where his office is located or stay here. He replied, that he blocked me because he felt “well awkward” about my mates checking on him.

(He said he moved to LA to live with a girl for almost a year, but it didn’t work out… rem don’t you need a Greencard to live in america and work???)

I calmed down abit and asked him to re-add me on Facebook. He didn’t.
I told him i was asking all this because id heard bad stuff and that if it was reversed i would expect him to do the same back.

No reply from Ginge.

I asked him if he was still sulking , as i got into bed.
He replied “yes, i am still sulking like a disabled, ginger, fat person” (thats him being funny not offensive btw!)
and then said “i trust you to trust me”.

Saturday came. Heard nothing from him. He still blocked me on Facebook yet i saw his new blog posts about bullshit overpriced crap. So he was still alive.

In the afternoon i heard from him. say
ing he will unblock me when he isn’t mardy anymore. We had bait of banter. But i couldn’t forget what the celeb girl had told me. We exchange pics of us dressed up (he was out in the shire, whilst i was out 12 miles away). He said i looked pretty.
Later that night at 1 am, he text a very pissed me saying “jem, what do you think about an “us”?”
i replied coyly “i don’t know what do you think?”
He replied in a series of texts that said” I think we would be amazing, we would burn this mother down”.
I said “unblock me on Facebook”
at 4.58 am , Me and my friend got to our hotel room shit faced. I rang him. He answered. He was laughing at my drunkenness and said “you love me”. I turned. So did my mate. We said he looked like James Hewitt, and called him a liar and my mate screeched “i hate you man!” down the phone and he hung up.
I woke up yesterday with a head rougher than a jermoy kyle contestant.
I got to my mums and was monging out when he text.
He asked me to go and collect him and offered to keep me company at MY HOUSE!

When i am hungover i am very easily pissed off and basically-a bitch.


i called him a dick.
he asked what was wrong with me.
I gave him my blog link and told him to read the fucked. he clearly didn’t as he was replying back and forth too quick.
i then asked him if he turns up at peoples houses with his stuff once they give him their addresses?
He replied “eh???”
straight away.
i text him spilling it all out, what c list celeb had told me. He instantly replied a shocked “oh my god , this is slanderous, im in utter disbelief”
I told him i enjoyed getting to know him and told him how funny he was.
He then responded telling me how his family had opened there arms tp that girl and that he walked out on her as nothing was ever good enough. He expressed his shock and disbelief. Part of me really believed him. He didn’t wait to respond so he wasn’t having “thinking” time between txts either.
He said “THIS” was meant to be our time, getting to know each other and how gutted he was that the nuttier (c-list celeb) had ruined it. He told me how lovely i am and said we should keep in touch.

His last text to me was:
“Find someone nice and don’t settle for less”

Mine was:
“i don’t want anyone now,i am done. This is why i stay the fuck away from men. I am better off on my own. See ya!”

and there, just like that. It was done.

I’ve not contacted him and he hasn’t contacted me. I don’t expect to hear off of him.
I don’t know which of them i believe, all i know is this:

I liked this guy. A lot.
I knew the second i contacted his ex that id probably lost him despite what she said.
I am probably damaged goods thanks to the fellas that have fucked me around.
I find it hard to trust.
I hope that this means i am one step closer to meeting my match for life.
No regrets and i definitely have not cried. I felt sad and still do.
If Ginge asks me for a coffee i will probably meet him to clear the air and try to work the truth from the lies. What do you think?????
But for now, its done.
And i’m a single pringle baby!!!
love Jem x

p.s; i ate a bag of cheese and 2 mince pies whilst writing this blog – comfort food rocks xxx