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Not again!!!

Published April 19, 2013 by jjjemma

Well. Ain’t life a biatch.

It happened again.

My lovely lovely date – I’m just gonna call him the acronym “dilf” as he actually was the epitome of it!

I say “was” 😤…

So after the first date , me and dilf text often, whatsapp’d etc. it was his brothers wedding last weekend so I have him space and didnt expect a second date until this week. I actually helped him with some of his best man speech – ‘cos I’m like totes funny aren’t I? Anyways!!!
There was a definitive chemistry and I suggested date 2 as bowling. I offered to book but he took over and booked it. He arranged to pick me up too. Which I liked. I can’t be doing with dithering men.
On the way over to mine his phone (which was his sat nav) died so he called me off his work number and I directed him to mine. He was flapping quite abit and I liked that as it meant that he liked me and wanted to make a good impression. 👍

My mate Laura babysat and me and dilf and myself went bowling. We had a laugh. I threw a ball down his lane whilst he wasn’t looking. We had good banter. We sat for ages afterwards having a drink and chatting and even played the “terminator” shooting game. Quality date. For me – he still ticked all the right boxes. He dropped me home we sat in his car for an hour chatting. We spoke about his (ex) wife and he said he had the house they shared and she’d moved 10 mins away with the kids. He said she was very selfish and that she always moaned and never cleaned the house – and that when he found her sexting someone ekse that was the final straw. I then asked why he had his kids so much (he has them more than half the time). He replied “because i want them”. Fair enough. On delving alittle more he said that she tried to limit his time woth them but he threatened to “ruin” her in court. Hmmm. ✋
It didn’t put me off. I thought he just loved his kids so much – i mean, the eldest isn’t even his, yet he has took her on and even pays maintenance for her. We even had a little kiss. Perfecto! 😘

On the date I’d joked that I sent a standard “bog off” text to previous dates saying “thanks for a lovely date but I just didn’t feel we have a connection. It’s not you it’s me” so when I got in I sent him that- AS A JOKE.
I immediately followed it up with “haha not really I had a great time – dont leave it so long next time xx”
No reply.

The next morning he was back texting again and moaning at how tired he was.

He was abit strange.

He then started saying things like “I want you x” followed by “I’ve just had a wank” – WHO SAYS THAT????!!! 😳
He then asked “what do you want?”
I had a panic- but was truthful. I replied “I eventually want to settle down, but first and foremost I want someone I click with and can have a laugh with”

No reply.

So I sent another saying “what do you want?”

It had to be discussed now he’d opened the can of worms.

His reply “fuck buddy?”

I got mad! I replied ” so why did you close your Pof and say you wanted to see what happened with me??? Was you just seeing if you could shag me??”

He replied “are you joking?”

I replied “are you?!!!!”

I was livid!!! Played much?!!!!👊👊👊😓

He then replied “no”

And then told me he’d been winding me up as payback for my joke text dumping him the previous night!!!

Hahahaha!!! I was soooo relieved!!!

Good banter ya see ?!!!! 💘

He was abit quiet and went bed early on Tuesday cos he’d been out late with me Monday and up early for his job Tuesday. We’d arranged for him to come round mine this evening so I was happy happy.

Wednesday came. Nothing.
I had a massive hair show to prepare for and was going to be on the go all day. Thought the day I checked my phone. I was thinking of him all day. Even though I was busy. Whilst the catwalk was on I text him trying to keep it lighthearted saying “are you bored of me already?”

He replied an hour later saying “sorry baby I’ve been in training all day and on a works dinner thing now xx”

So I just replied “ok have fun! The show went well – I smashed itxx”

He didn’t even bother to ask me about the show. I clearly hadn’t been on his mind like he had been on mine. 😓.

Thursday morning, I got a text saying “I’m a bit shot really aren’t I? X”
I replied “yes but I don’t understand why though”

He then went on to say how he enjoyed spending time with me but he didn’t think he could give me what I needed. Then started saying how lovely I am blah blah blah.

Basically I had been friend zoned. A – fucking – gain!!!

I kept my cool and just wished him well. I was still confused though as I’d done nothing wrong. I’d not bombarded him with texts.

Last night , I went into his Facebook. I’ve checked it out before. We aren’t friends. But when I checked it a few days ago he was still friends with his ex wife which I found abit weird. I didn’t even say anything when he said she was going to be going to his brothers wedding as she was taking the kids.

Well, had a look and fuck me, his mrs ain’t on there anymore. Is that coincidence?

She’s still on Facebook , just they aren’t Facebook friends anymore.
Obviously I can’t let him know I’ve done a stalking sesh on his Facebook. But still – weird no???

Also – another coincidence maybe but the last few evenings I’d text him and imessege hadn’t gone through so it got sent via text instead… This only happened the last two evenings around the same time…. Another coincidence?

So today I text and demanded some clarification.

I sent:
Did something happen yesterday ? I am confused as today you’ve done a full u-turn?
I’ve had a good couple of dates with you so it’s come as a bit of a surprise to me? X

No reply. So I sent it to his work phone too. Fuck it .

He replied saying:
Oh my god my other phone has broken which is why i didn’t reply! I am not seeing my ex nor anyone else. I just feel that you are looking for someone who can devote more time to building a relationship with you than i can at the moment. I know you think i’m a prick but i would rather be honest with you than string you along and let you down x

I then explained that I don’t need anyone who can give me all their time as I have my kids , friends, family, college and my own business to run.

He kept saying things like “that’s what makes you so attractive to me” “I’m sorry it really isn’t you”

Anyway. I got abit pissy with him and put:Well I suggest you don’t go telling people you’re looking for a relationship then. ‘Cos you’ll end up hurting people. I really thought I’d found a diamond out of that piece of shit dating site.
I cried yesterday- because I was convinced it was me. I never cry. I’m not an emotionally loose person.

This is how girls turn into bitches- from lads pissing them about.

You were full on at first and then it’s like you just got bored of me.

But don’t worry I know it is your loss. It’s just a shame I had my hopes raised by someone who actually liked me for me.

He replied:
I really do like you for you and it kills me to know you were upset 😦 x

And then he wished me luck!

So – what do we think had occurred???
Was it me???
Someone out me out of my fucking misery



Published February 17, 2013 by jjjemma

I don’t get mad. I get even.

Earlier today on Twitter, I jumped on the trending topic :

I then tweeted:
“I took a piss in #oneofmyexes cuppa and gave it him with a smile”

#truestory 👍😷😜

Who was it?! The only man who made me mental – The Dj

This is the guy who STOLE my leathers from MY house for his new shag piece.
Cheated on me with numerous younger and older females.
Physically assaulted me on a few occasions.
Spat in my face.
Drove off and abandoned me 50 miles from my house in the middle of the night, in the middle of nowhere – because I’d found him out AGAIN!!
Hid my “revealing” clothes.
Made me DNA test Alfie.
REFUSED to be put on his boys birth certificates without DNA tests first.
Made me homeless and penniless at 7months pregnant , because I found out he was cheating YET AGAIN.

And more recently, dissolved his VERY successful company in order to dodge paying maintence via the CSA.

Maintenance for the two boys he refuses to acknowledge even EXISTING.

Why didn’t I leave him after the first round of him cheating and being abusive, I hear you ask??
My only answer to this is – I was young.
The DJ was my second boyfriend and 10 years my senior. I was 18 when I met him – 25 when I escaped the abuse. I grew up. I became a woman. I realised that the relationship we had was abnormal, broken and destructive in every way. It had evolved into a TOTAL game. He admitted to manipulating me back in my teenage years. In the end, he walked as he saw that I had grown up. I let him walk without a fight because I was pregnant with our second baby. In addition, i knew the vicious circle of hating each other and creating innocent lives would never cease unless I let him leave me.

Best thing I ever did! I spread my wings and grew into a person I didn’t think I was capable of being!

But before I let the cunt go, I got my own kind of revenge…
Here are some of my favourites.
💥Pissed in tea- the lazy twat would always sleep half the morning away, this gave me ample time to take a piss in his cup and stew the piss with a tea bag and some milk! 😷
He had returned home the previous night after doing a disappearing act for almost a week. I smiled as I handed him his cuppa in bed and watched as he drank his warm wee beverage 👍

💥Spat In his tea – contaminating his tea became my favourite revenge on DJ. I think he had been a mardy twat all morning and we hasn’t slept together for almost a month. He kept saying he was skint and used my credit card for his vehicle tax online. He was minted. So, I spat in his tea when he refused to pay me back. Simples 😷

💥Would regularly tell him that his wiener was diddy! I made him have such a bad complex about it that he couldn’t even get it up with ANYONE!

💥If I ever cooked and dropped food in the floor he had it. 🐓🐡🐲🐎
That was standard – I must stress, all of these revenge activities only occurred AFTER the DJ had screwed numerous ladies and abused me mentally and physically for several years.

💥Laxatives in his tea – this was my favourite. Basically, Mr DJ would tell me that I wasn’t allowed to ask him when I would see him next (apparently I was being a “nagging bitch” if I dared to inquire when I’d see him again!)
I actually went out and bought some laxatives for this revenge method.
This was my last bit of fun before he fucked off. The DJ had lied and said he was going on a stag do to Amsterdam. He made the mistake of phoning me up fucked on mushrooms during his stay and putting the girl who he had actually took away on the phone!!! CUNT!!!
So, I got the pestle and mortar out, crushed up 4 laxatives a day and put the poo powder in EVERY beverage I made him. Luckily, he’d only come home once or twice a week so I’d never see him shitting his pants or anything equally as grim.

Now, I know I may seem mental for doing all of the above – and my only defence is : I WAS MENTAL! Thanks to him 😂

I’m not now. I’m ridiculously boring. So fear not if I ever offer you a hot drink or some cheese on toast! 😜

Love Jem xxx


Pancake day!!!

Published February 10, 2013 by jjjemma

2 weeks ago, I got drunk and rang boyband. We got on really well on the phone, banter and he sounded lovely. He even said I sounded nice after and thought I wasn’t a nutter anymore… but then stopped talking after a few days … It just sloped off. 😦

So then last Monday we arranged to have coffee sometime over the next week… The. Conversation sloped off again. I didn’t mind. I knew he was busy with work and my week was pretty hectic with college and the kids.

So, Friday night… Went out with my pals. Lots of shots and drinks and dancing. I literally fell in love with the Dj when he played a 5ive,b*witched melody – a nod towards the telly box show I LURVE “the big reunion”.
Anyways, we were rapping along to 5ive tunes (we were surprised at how much we remembered!!!), having a quality night.

I danced with folk, even had a chat to a lovely lad called Adam – but he was very shy and said he had no kids , then later admitted to having a son but not ever seeing him 👊👎✋ BYEEEEEEE

Now, I’m not sure why it happened, maybe I was drunk / waiting to long at the bar / having a moment… But I text boyband!!!

Fuck. My. Actual. Life.

At 2.21am (why would I even of thought he was awake at this time?!)
I text him saying:
“You are weird”

Lucky for me that’s all I text cos I could of wrote so much more- I’m the girl who yells abuse at taxi drivers when I’m drunk. If I feel they are driving too fast, I will shout obscenities for them playing “god” and comprising my life”

😓 I’m basically , a nob!

When I woke up, hunger over to FUCK, Saturday morning. I checked my phone and saw a message from “boyband” , waiting to be opened. Horror overcame me. I thought he might of actually had enough of my silly mental crap.

His message read:
Awww thank you 😊 so very complimentary lol.

Sorry I am rubbish at times I know. 😳💥🔫xx

Aww! 😋 He was kind! And we’ve arranged the coffee (which has now turned into lunch) for Tuesday!

I’m excited to meet this one! He’s very funny and I guess him being all cool has kept me interested – which is a rarity as I usually find boredom-central with fellas v. Rapidly!

So , pancake day will be the day that I get to report back on mr gorge boyband 🙂

Laters 💋😂





Guest Blog: “Boyband’s” Bad date

Published January 24, 2013 by jjjemma

I’ve had many experiences with internet dating over the years, some good, some not so good but the following recent story was particularly memorable to say the least and Jemma has kindly allowed me to share it with you.


I’d recently hit the singles market and decided to go swimming in the wonderful pool of POF and try my luck once again on the internet.  Very soon I got chatting to a single woman or two children (ages 1 and 3yrs), who I shall name ‘Kirby West’ and in virtuality (if ever a word) sounded perfect.


So Kirby and I arranged a date at a bar to get to know each other over a few drinks (as you do), but a couple of days prior, she texted me to advise that she had been let down by her babysitter and couldn’t get a replacement in time for our date.  So instead of cancelling she asked if I would like to go round hers when the kids were in bed instead of cancelling.  I obviously thought this was a bit strange as she didn’t know me from Adam or had even laid eyes on me, I mean cummon, I could have been a psycho baby killer.  Lucky for her I’m not… well not anymore anyway! So me being me I dismissed the weirdness of the offer and I agreed to go round.


So I get there, bottle of wine in hand, we got chatting and everything was going swimmingly despite the environment and in all fairness she seemed very nice. I’d been there for around half an hour when her 3yr old appeared at the top of the stairs.  Now here’s me thinking she’ll just put him back to bed straight away but she called him down to sit with us and before long had all his toys out and he proceeded to use me as a human climbing frame as we continued with our date.


Very shortly after that, the 1yr old gets up and sits at the top of the stairs crying.  So again instead of putting him back to bed, Kirby comforted him and brought him down the stairs to sit with us.  So at this point I’m thinking WTF??? as I continued to try and get through a date at Go kids Go!  Anyway the 1yr old just wouldn’t stop crying, to which she acknowledge and apologised profusely for to be fair, but It was obviously the baby wanted feeding and wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon until he had his supper.


So Kirby had no choice but to give into the baby’s cries and asked if I would I mind.  Obviously said no go ahead and feed him, its fine….Then in a heartbeat she’d lifted up her top, lobbed out her right boob and had the baby suckling for England…


Now I’m not normally stuck for words but I was completely gobsmacked… This resulted in an obvious tumbleweed moment so I broke the awkward silence with “well….. This is awkward”… followed by “I’m not sure what to do with myself, I’m quite tempted to get on the other side and hi-five the baby” comment.   I chuckled but she didn’t seem to find my humour funny at all.


Needless to say the date continued to go downhill quite rapidly thereafter and I eventually made my excuses and left never to speak a word to her again.



Was he out of order?


What would you do in that situation?



Second best

Published January 12, 2013 by jjjemma

Alittle update…
I started talking to hot guy. Hot guy messeged me via POF.
He was 39 (alittle older than I like – but what the hell -he was FIT!) he was also over 6 foot tall… And us girls LOVE a tall man right?!!!😜
He’s the guy who I gave my blog address too. He was gorgeous looking, into similar things as me and no kids! Seemed too good to be true.

We spoke numerous times via Pof over the next week and he read my blog. He ripped me abit about things I wrote but also commented that he could maybe be the one who could be the end of my blog!!! 👍

Eventually I asked if we could exchange numbers as everytime I signed into Pof , I would get 20 messeges from men and my inbox was bursting as I was “online”
ALOT! So, he gave me his number, we chatted lots and all was well. The more I knew about this guy the more I liked him. He used to sing in a band and he gave me his band name so I could watch on YouTube.
OMG what a beautiful voice… Had smokey tones to his voice!!! He also played guitar…
…all this good stuff posed the question:
“Why the hell is he on POF?”
So I asked him. His answer was plausible. He had been out of a relationship for 5 months and chatting women up in bars wasn’t his style. Fine 🙂

I was at college earlier this week and was messaging him. He asked what campus I was at as he worked in town and wanted to go for lunch (but I wasn’t attending the city centre campus).
Anyhooo, we kept messaging and regularly he would text me good morning etc

Yesterday the texts stopped In the afternoon, which was weird as we always said goodnight. Today I had heard nothing from him.
I didn’t get it. I liked him. So I did something I’ve never done – I bit the bullet and text first. He replied that he’d been busy and we had abit of a convo going on. I was thinking “why hasn’t he asked me out???”
So again, cos I liked him, I asked him to meet for a drink tomorrow (as he said he was out tomorrow night-as am I).

Long pause…. His iPhone showed that he was typing… Then the typing stopped…

20 minutes later I got a reply saying:
“Right Jemma lemme tell you how it is cus I do believe in being straight. I’ve been chatting to 2 people who have both really got me intrigued. You being one of the 2. The other person kinda got in there first with the hook up for a drink tomorrow offer funnily enough so I’ve said yes so meeting up with you could become a little too interesting. 😳 Xx”

GUTTED. Much!?

And abit arrogant no?

Maybe the other girl hasn’t got children, I know that can be a deal breaker for some men.

Maybe the blog put him off?

Maybe the other girl was hotter?

Anyways, I was polite and said thanks for being straight with me and good luck tomorrow I hope it works out. And I do. He was/is a nice guy!

Just a shame I hadn’t been enough for him to wanna put me first. In the dating world you date your favourite – you don’t have a fucking waiting list.

So I was second best. Again. And that’s one thing I will never allow myself to be again.

So back to the fish pond for me 🎣🎣
Mwah, Jemma



Guest blog post from #sexstarvedgoodguy

Published January 6, 2013 by jjjemma

Happy Sunday!
My, my, my … Do I have a treat for you lot today!?
I have a mans perspective!!!!
One of my pals I regularly chat to on twitter told me he has skeletons in his closet… We spoke about him doing a guest blog post and he agreed 🙂

He has chosen to remain anonymous- as would I if I was in a relationship 😉

If people like this … Please comment / retweet and #hashtag
#sexstarvedgoodguy so he can view comments 🙂

Jem x


Reading your blog got me thinking. Are there any decent men out there? Well, I like to think so. Then it made me think about myself. Am I a decent bloke??
Answer: in short yes. But we all have a dark side don’t we.

The blog about the young lad who had a girlfriend got me thinking. You asked for advice on how to confront him. Should you say anything etc. my reply was we’re all young once and try it on.

Well my current predicament on wether I’m a good guy. I’m with my partner of 9 years. We’ve had sex once in last 6 months. (Not my choice) .

Then recently- 2nd jan to be precise, I was out with a few of the lads having a beer. When my phone goes. What’s app notifications. “Old school friend girl” has sent you an image. I open it up and there is 5 images from a girl I had a flirt with last year (No more, just a few messages and calls.). -pretty graphic to say the least.
Then a message saying happy new year. I didn’t reply straight away I was a bit shocked she’d sent them. Anyway after a bit she messages again ‘do you like’ so I replied did she mean to send to me. Well she did and then in no uncertain terms told me she wanted to meet ASAP and in no doubt what we’d be getting upto. I made my excuses and said I’d be in touch in future.

So my thoughts. Are there any decent guys out there. Yes I am. But for how long?????

Sex starved good guy.

Update on Arron the player

Published January 5, 2013 by jjjemma

So here’s the update. I asked young ‘un … Aka… Arron , what was what… He explained… End of..

I am Glad cos I cannot be doing with any dramas so early on in this year! Added bonus… I can keep him as a reserve cock if he ever splits with his gf 🙂

Here’s a screen grab…

I’m currently stalking … Erm… I mean … Talking to a new guy on Pof…
Will update more when I know if he’s a cunt or not
Mwah! Xxx
Jem xxx