All posts in the pof category

Not again!!!

Published April 19, 2013 by jjjemma

Well. Ain’t life a biatch.

It happened again.

My lovely lovely date – I’m just gonna call him the acronym “dilf” as he actually was the epitome of it!

I say “was” 😤…

So after the first date , me and dilf text often, whatsapp’d etc. it was his brothers wedding last weekend so I have him space and didnt expect a second date until this week. I actually helped him with some of his best man speech – ‘cos I’m like totes funny aren’t I? Anyways!!!
There was a definitive chemistry and I suggested date 2 as bowling. I offered to book but he took over and booked it. He arranged to pick me up too. Which I liked. I can’t be doing with dithering men.
On the way over to mine his phone (which was his sat nav) died so he called me off his work number and I directed him to mine. He was flapping quite abit and I liked that as it meant that he liked me and wanted to make a good impression. 👍

My mate Laura babysat and me and dilf and myself went bowling. We had a laugh. I threw a ball down his lane whilst he wasn’t looking. We had good banter. We sat for ages afterwards having a drink and chatting and even played the “terminator” shooting game. Quality date. For me – he still ticked all the right boxes. He dropped me home we sat in his car for an hour chatting. We spoke about his (ex) wife and he said he had the house they shared and she’d moved 10 mins away with the kids. He said she was very selfish and that she always moaned and never cleaned the house – and that when he found her sexting someone ekse that was the final straw. I then asked why he had his kids so much (he has them more than half the time). He replied “because i want them”. Fair enough. On delving alittle more he said that she tried to limit his time woth them but he threatened to “ruin” her in court. Hmmm. ✋
It didn’t put me off. I thought he just loved his kids so much – i mean, the eldest isn’t even his, yet he has took her on and even pays maintenance for her. We even had a little kiss. Perfecto! 😘

On the date I’d joked that I sent a standard “bog off” text to previous dates saying “thanks for a lovely date but I just didn’t feel we have a connection. It’s not you it’s me” so when I got in I sent him that- AS A JOKE.
I immediately followed it up with “haha not really I had a great time – dont leave it so long next time xx”
No reply.

The next morning he was back texting again and moaning at how tired he was.

He was abit strange.

He then started saying things like “I want you x” followed by “I’ve just had a wank” – WHO SAYS THAT????!!! 😳
He then asked “what do you want?”
I had a panic- but was truthful. I replied “I eventually want to settle down, but first and foremost I want someone I click with and can have a laugh with”

No reply.

So I sent another saying “what do you want?”

It had to be discussed now he’d opened the can of worms.

His reply “fuck buddy?”

I got mad! I replied ” so why did you close your Pof and say you wanted to see what happened with me??? Was you just seeing if you could shag me??”

He replied “are you joking?”

I replied “are you?!!!!”

I was livid!!! Played much?!!!!👊👊👊😓

He then replied “no”

And then told me he’d been winding me up as payback for my joke text dumping him the previous night!!!

Hahahaha!!! I was soooo relieved!!!

Good banter ya see ?!!!! 💘

He was abit quiet and went bed early on Tuesday cos he’d been out late with me Monday and up early for his job Tuesday. We’d arranged for him to come round mine this evening so I was happy happy.

Wednesday came. Nothing.
I had a massive hair show to prepare for and was going to be on the go all day. Thought the day I checked my phone. I was thinking of him all day. Even though I was busy. Whilst the catwalk was on I text him trying to keep it lighthearted saying “are you bored of me already?”

He replied an hour later saying “sorry baby I’ve been in training all day and on a works dinner thing now xx”

So I just replied “ok have fun! The show went well – I smashed itxx”

He didn’t even bother to ask me about the show. I clearly hadn’t been on his mind like he had been on mine. 😓.

Thursday morning, I got a text saying “I’m a bit shot really aren’t I? X”
I replied “yes but I don’t understand why though”

He then went on to say how he enjoyed spending time with me but he didn’t think he could give me what I needed. Then started saying how lovely I am blah blah blah.

Basically I had been friend zoned. A – fucking – gain!!!

I kept my cool and just wished him well. I was still confused though as I’d done nothing wrong. I’d not bombarded him with texts.

Last night , I went into his Facebook. I’ve checked it out before. We aren’t friends. But when I checked it a few days ago he was still friends with his ex wife which I found abit weird. I didn’t even say anything when he said she was going to be going to his brothers wedding as she was taking the kids.

Well, had a look and fuck me, his mrs ain’t on there anymore. Is that coincidence?

She’s still on Facebook , just they aren’t Facebook friends anymore.
Obviously I can’t let him know I’ve done a stalking sesh on his Facebook. But still – weird no???

Also – another coincidence maybe but the last few evenings I’d text him and imessege hadn’t gone through so it got sent via text instead… This only happened the last two evenings around the same time…. Another coincidence?

So today I text and demanded some clarification.

I sent:
Did something happen yesterday ? I am confused as today you’ve done a full u-turn?
I’ve had a good couple of dates with you so it’s come as a bit of a surprise to me? X

No reply. So I sent it to his work phone too. Fuck it .

He replied saying:
Oh my god my other phone has broken which is why i didn’t reply! I am not seeing my ex nor anyone else. I just feel that you are looking for someone who can devote more time to building a relationship with you than i can at the moment. I know you think i’m a prick but i would rather be honest with you than string you along and let you down x

I then explained that I don’t need anyone who can give me all their time as I have my kids , friends, family, college and my own business to run.

He kept saying things like “that’s what makes you so attractive to me” “I’m sorry it really isn’t you”

Anyway. I got abit pissy with him and put:Well I suggest you don’t go telling people you’re looking for a relationship then. ‘Cos you’ll end up hurting people. I really thought I’d found a diamond out of that piece of shit dating site.
I cried yesterday- because I was convinced it was me. I never cry. I’m not an emotionally loose person.

This is how girls turn into bitches- from lads pissing them about.

You were full on at first and then it’s like you just got bored of me.

But don’t worry I know it is your loss. It’s just a shame I had my hopes raised by someone who actually liked me for me.

He replied:
I really do like you for you and it kills me to know you were upset 😦 x

And then he wished me luck!

So – what do we think had occurred???
Was it me???
Someone out me out of my fucking misery


Best first date ever

Published April 5, 2013 by jjjemma

So last night I went on a first date with a newbie on Pof.
I was his first date ever.
Let me explain…
He was married. Still is but separated. 2 kids, one biologically his, the other he took on. I’ve broken every single one of my self imposed rules. But – I had a feeling and I went with it. And man I am glad I did!!! BEST DATE EVER.

He isn’t from round my way. He’s a good hour drive away. Excellent job, banter and HAWT!

We met at an Indian restaurant and from the second we met we clicked! Like. Actually clicked!!!!!

He’s tall, blonde and has gorgeous dimples. Good fashion sense and a proper gent! He’s abit posh too! But he liked my “northern” twang. We chatted easily. No awk silences and best of all was on a level!

Loads of laughs. He said he liked that I didn’t pretend to be anything other than myself. And he complimented me!

We ate our dinner and shared our food. We took the piss out of each other. He paid the bill without hesitation. He sounds like an amazing dad and clearly has ALOT of love for his babies. Which I found very endearing.

He broke up with his wife 6 months ago- she was texting someone else. But he admitted things weren’t right for ages before and even said he regrets marrying her. I’m pretty sure their will be no reconciliation.

At one point we were talking about the Internet and he said he had twitter and I said I had it too (we didn’t exchange twitter @) – he asked how you get so many followers. To which my tipsy brain ALMOST wanted to spill about the blog.

What a dick I am!!! I almost ruined it!!! I just blagged about hashtags and hopefully that was believable.

It’s not that I am ashamed of this blog- I’m proud of it. I just want him to get to know me before reading my life history and making judgement.

We had so much of a laugh I thought I might of done the whole “friend zone” thing again and told him so. He told me no, he finds me attractive etc!

So we went on for a drink afterwards at a bar. We ended up having a “thumb war” – instigated by myself and he won!

He offered me a lift home – even though it was out of his way and he had work very early the next day.

He drives a gorge BMW. He drove me to my house and I said goodnight and thanked him for a lovely evening. I gave him a quick peck and undid my seatbelt. He pulled me towards him for a better kiss.
Fuck. Butterflies much!

I don’t know if he felt the same but I was almost skipping to my front door!!!

He text me to say he had a quality night and that he could still taste me (my strawberry lipgloss)

And today we have maintained communication :)))
So … I’m pleased.

He admits that him and the ex argue ALOT, so I hope that doesn’t cause issues.

But all in all I’m excited about this one!

I’ll keep you posted!!!
Jem xx

Pancake day!!!

Published February 10, 2013 by jjjemma

2 weeks ago, I got drunk and rang boyband. We got on really well on the phone, banter and he sounded lovely. He even said I sounded nice after and thought I wasn’t a nutter anymore… but then stopped talking after a few days … It just sloped off. 😦

So then last Monday we arranged to have coffee sometime over the next week… The. Conversation sloped off again. I didn’t mind. I knew he was busy with work and my week was pretty hectic with college and the kids.

So, Friday night… Went out with my pals. Lots of shots and drinks and dancing. I literally fell in love with the Dj when he played a 5ive,b*witched melody – a nod towards the telly box show I LURVE “the big reunion”.
Anyways, we were rapping along to 5ive tunes (we were surprised at how much we remembered!!!), having a quality night.

I danced with folk, even had a chat to a lovely lad called Adam – but he was very shy and said he had no kids , then later admitted to having a son but not ever seeing him 👊👎✋ BYEEEEEEE

Now, I’m not sure why it happened, maybe I was drunk / waiting to long at the bar / having a moment… But I text boyband!!!

Fuck. My. Actual. Life.

At 2.21am (why would I even of thought he was awake at this time?!)
I text him saying:
“You are weird”

Lucky for me that’s all I text cos I could of wrote so much more- I’m the girl who yells abuse at taxi drivers when I’m drunk. If I feel they are driving too fast, I will shout obscenities for them playing “god” and comprising my life”

😓 I’m basically , a nob!

When I woke up, hunger over to FUCK, Saturday morning. I checked my phone and saw a message from “boyband” , waiting to be opened. Horror overcame me. I thought he might of actually had enough of my silly mental crap.

His message read:
Awww thank you 😊 so very complimentary lol.

Sorry I am rubbish at times I know. 😳💥🔫xx

Aww! 😋 He was kind! And we’ve arranged the coffee (which has now turned into lunch) for Tuesday!

I’m excited to meet this one! He’s very funny and I guess him being all cool has kept me interested – which is a rarity as I usually find boredom-central with fellas v. Rapidly!

So , pancake day will be the day that I get to report back on mr gorge boyband 🙂

Laters 💋😂





Guest Blog: “Boyband’s” Bad date

Published January 24, 2013 by jjjemma

I’ve had many experiences with internet dating over the years, some good, some not so good but the following recent story was particularly memorable to say the least and Jemma has kindly allowed me to share it with you.


I’d recently hit the singles market and decided to go swimming in the wonderful pool of POF and try my luck once again on the internet.  Very soon I got chatting to a single woman or two children (ages 1 and 3yrs), who I shall name ‘Kirby West’ and in virtuality (if ever a word) sounded perfect.


So Kirby and I arranged a date at a bar to get to know each other over a few drinks (as you do), but a couple of days prior, she texted me to advise that she had been let down by her babysitter and couldn’t get a replacement in time for our date.  So instead of cancelling she asked if I would like to go round hers when the kids were in bed instead of cancelling.  I obviously thought this was a bit strange as she didn’t know me from Adam or had even laid eyes on me, I mean cummon, I could have been a psycho baby killer.  Lucky for her I’m not… well not anymore anyway! So me being me I dismissed the weirdness of the offer and I agreed to go round.


So I get there, bottle of wine in hand, we got chatting and everything was going swimmingly despite the environment and in all fairness she seemed very nice. I’d been there for around half an hour when her 3yr old appeared at the top of the stairs.  Now here’s me thinking she’ll just put him back to bed straight away but she called him down to sit with us and before long had all his toys out and he proceeded to use me as a human climbing frame as we continued with our date.


Very shortly after that, the 1yr old gets up and sits at the top of the stairs crying.  So again instead of putting him back to bed, Kirby comforted him and brought him down the stairs to sit with us.  So at this point I’m thinking WTF??? as I continued to try and get through a date at Go kids Go!  Anyway the 1yr old just wouldn’t stop crying, to which she acknowledge and apologised profusely for to be fair, but It was obviously the baby wanted feeding and wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon until he had his supper.


So Kirby had no choice but to give into the baby’s cries and asked if I would I mind.  Obviously said no go ahead and feed him, its fine….Then in a heartbeat she’d lifted up her top, lobbed out her right boob and had the baby suckling for England…


Now I’m not normally stuck for words but I was completely gobsmacked… This resulted in an obvious tumbleweed moment so I broke the awkward silence with “well….. This is awkward”… followed by “I’m not sure what to do with myself, I’m quite tempted to get on the other side and hi-five the baby” comment.   I chuckled but she didn’t seem to find my humour funny at all.


Needless to say the date continued to go downhill quite rapidly thereafter and I eventually made my excuses and left never to speak a word to her again.



Was he out of order?


What would you do in that situation?



Second best

Published January 12, 2013 by jjjemma

Alittle update…
I started talking to hot guy. Hot guy messeged me via POF.
He was 39 (alittle older than I like – but what the hell -he was FIT!) he was also over 6 foot tall… And us girls LOVE a tall man right?!!!😜
He’s the guy who I gave my blog address too. He was gorgeous looking, into similar things as me and no kids! Seemed too good to be true.

We spoke numerous times via Pof over the next week and he read my blog. He ripped me abit about things I wrote but also commented that he could maybe be the one who could be the end of my blog!!! 👍

Eventually I asked if we could exchange numbers as everytime I signed into Pof , I would get 20 messeges from men and my inbox was bursting as I was “online”
ALOT! So, he gave me his number, we chatted lots and all was well. The more I knew about this guy the more I liked him. He used to sing in a band and he gave me his band name so I could watch on YouTube.
OMG what a beautiful voice… Had smokey tones to his voice!!! He also played guitar…
…all this good stuff posed the question:
“Why the hell is he on POF?”
So I asked him. His answer was plausible. He had been out of a relationship for 5 months and chatting women up in bars wasn’t his style. Fine 🙂

I was at college earlier this week and was messaging him. He asked what campus I was at as he worked in town and wanted to go for lunch (but I wasn’t attending the city centre campus).
Anyhooo, we kept messaging and regularly he would text me good morning etc

Yesterday the texts stopped In the afternoon, which was weird as we always said goodnight. Today I had heard nothing from him.
I didn’t get it. I liked him. So I did something I’ve never done – I bit the bullet and text first. He replied that he’d been busy and we had abit of a convo going on. I was thinking “why hasn’t he asked me out???”
So again, cos I liked him, I asked him to meet for a drink tomorrow (as he said he was out tomorrow night-as am I).

Long pause…. His iPhone showed that he was typing… Then the typing stopped…

20 minutes later I got a reply saying:
“Right Jemma lemme tell you how it is cus I do believe in being straight. I’ve been chatting to 2 people who have both really got me intrigued. You being one of the 2. The other person kinda got in there first with the hook up for a drink tomorrow offer funnily enough so I’ve said yes so meeting up with you could become a little too interesting. 😳 Xx”

GUTTED. Much!?

And abit arrogant no?

Maybe the other girl hasn’t got children, I know that can be a deal breaker for some men.

Maybe the blog put him off?

Maybe the other girl was hotter?

Anyways, I was polite and said thanks for being straight with me and good luck tomorrow I hope it works out. And I do. He was/is a nice guy!

Just a shame I hadn’t been enough for him to wanna put me first. In the dating world you date your favourite – you don’t have a fucking waiting list.

So I was second best. Again. And that’s one thing I will never allow myself to be again.

So back to the fish pond for me 🎣🎣
Mwah, Jemma



Update on Arron the player

Published January 5, 2013 by jjjemma

So here’s the update. I asked young ‘un … Aka… Arron , what was what… He explained… End of..

I am Glad cos I cannot be doing with any dramas so early on in this year! Added bonus… I can keep him as a reserve cock if he ever splits with his gf 🙂

Here’s a screen grab…

I’m currently stalking … Erm… I mean … Talking to a new guy on Pof…
Will update more when I know if he’s a cunt or not
Mwah! Xxx
Jem xxx


A good date!!

Published December 30, 2012 by jjjemma

The Best Date. Ever.

Considering I always blog about all my recent bad dates, I have been thinking today of all the GOOD dates I’ve been on.
So today I am going to tell you about the best date of my life.👍
You are probably all expecting flash cars, squandering money and posh surroundings.. but no. This date was not that. This date is one date that I will always look back upon as an amazing example of when things go good.

I met this guy via MSN – back in the olden days when it was cool to IM people you don’t know and abuse randoms when drunk with friends (or was that just me who did that?). I used to write a lot of poetry and publish it on my blog space via MSN. This guy had read some and we chatted randomly on MSN. This was around 8 years ago, I was 20 and was constantly in an on/off relationship with my children’s father (see DJ 😡)
Anyways during an “off” period with Dj, MSN Man asked me out for some drinks. I was 19 , he was 24. We met in a bar in town. He was tall, fair (not my usual type) and extremely gorgeous. He was a proper mans man – abit rough round the edges. We had a few drinks, got on really really well and it was like we had known each other forever. He told me he wanted to settle and couldn’t find a girl who also wanted to settle – KERCHING!!!❤

The night slipped away, it was about 1 am and we found ourselves in a tiny bar drinking whiskey and cokes, followed by concoctions of shots that I had never had in my life. We were laughing, joking and flirting – it was all just so easy! He suggested we go on to a club – which at this point I was more than up for as I was wasted (as was he). We were both hungry and decided to nip in McDonalds en route to the club. Now, as we crossed the road we were trying to trip each other over and were basically being drunk idiots. I was running away when he slurred “Jemma. Wait!!!” I stopped and turned around, when my eyes eventually focussed on him he was staggering across the road towards me, pointing at me, saying “i’m going to kiss you.” I was giggling and shouted “Well hurry up then” – and thats what he did…
…In the middle of the road, pissed as newts, he grabbed me and we had the BEST kiss of my life (I am actually smiling recalling this). It wasn’t a sloppy, lazy kiss, it was gentle and soft and meaningful. I guess you could say we had a “moment”.😘💥💫🌟
We went to a club in town, found a quiet corner where we sat talking and drinking and kissing for the last hour. When we went to get taxis, there were NONE! So we started walking through town towards mine, as I lived on the outskirts of the City centre anyway. We randomly found an abandoned shopping trolley and without warning, he picked me up and put me in it and pushed me all the way up the hill to my flat! We were laughing so hard the whole time. When we got to my door, he picked me back out of it, cuddled me and kissed me before telling me he’d had an amazing night.

What a perfect night that was!

Unfortunately, I was young and a total twat. I was so obsessed with my then future kids dad at the time, that when DJ begged me back (as he always did) a few days later, I didn’t give MSN Man a second thought! I got back with the DJ idiot and then got pregnant with our first child, Alfie.

MSN Man was NEVER pushy and we remained good friends. When I was 8 months pregnant with Alfie, I moved out of the home i’d shared with DJ (we lived together 7 weeks before I discovered numerous naked picture messages on his phone to his ex / randoms and customers). 👊👊👊

I moved into my new place and MSN Man wanted to meet me to cheer me up as I felt horrendous. We met for a coffee. He was amazing. The moment he saw me he grinned from ear to ear. I felt like a whale. He embraced my bump and rubbed it and told me how beautiful and “glowing” I looked – this was move than my unborn babies father had EVER done. He treated me like an angel and he told me that he didn’t care that I was having a baby. He said he would wait until I was ready to move on as I was worth it. We parted with a kiss on the cheek and a hug.

I had Alfie 4 weeks later. The Dj came back on the scene, demanding that I gave him a DNA test on our baby and that if the baby turned out to be his (which it OBVIOUSLY was), then he would give our relationship a proper shot. I was 21, alone, scared and with a brand new baby to care for. A baby that wasn’t planned. I’d never held a baby in my adult years , so Alfie taught me how to be a mum the day he was born. I didn’t want to be a single mum and somewhere deep inside, I was still in love with DJ. I wanted to erase the past. So I did the DNA test and he came back. For a week! He then would turn his phone off to go to the casino to gamble late at night whilst I was doing the night feeds with our 4 week old baby. He would cut me off when I would try to ring him. He would intermittently come back for a few days at a time to have some sex and then leave again. Leaving me in bits. I ended up with an eating disorder after he threw a comment about his ex (whom he has 2 daughters with), losing her baby weight faster than I did. I was a mess.

Needless to say, I lost MSN Man along the way. I treated him appallingly. I was in and out of a horrendous abusive relationship and my heart wasn’t even mine to truly give back then.

MSN Man and myself are still friends. He is on my Facebook and he has a beautiful little girl and a fiance. They have had their ups and downs – but you know what? They’ve worked at it and they are happy. I am so pleased for them both, he is a top bloke.

And me? Well after Friday Nights date (See: First date etiquette), I am not feeling the dating scene much. Yet after sitting in my kitchen on my MacBook, and reminiscing about one of the few wonderful men that I HAVE stumbled across in my dating history…. Well I’m filled with excitement for the new year that is approaching!
What is it that Aaliyah sang?
*Dust yourself off an try again*

Bring on my 2013 dates 🙂
Jem xxx