No spark, No cigar!

Published September 6, 2013 by jjjemma


Long time no speak!

I kinda thought that i’d try keeping my private life…. private.

I succeeded. For a little while :0


So as a few of you know, I found a good ‘un off POF.

This guy, I’ll call him Big G, was a good catch.


He was 26 (2 years younger than me), no kids, good job, own place and car.

He was into football played it – and watching it.


So Big G (this was my nickname for him, as his name begins with “g” and I was just being daft one evening).


Big G and I spoke very briefly through POF before he asked for my number and got straight onto asking and arranging a date with myself. I liked this. No messing around at all.


He wasn’t in my face texting all day, he would text good morning and then we’d usually text evening time.


The day of our date, i had no “good morning” text.

I stayed pretty cool. My mate came over to babysit and asked if he’d been in touch. I said “NO”.


I wasn’t too pissed off and i was quite chilled and not bothered by it all.

So many blokes have fucked me about that i think i have built a pretty tough wall around myself now. 


I was running late, said bye to my mate and off i went.


Arrived, 20 minutes late! He had a wine waiting for me andddddd GORGEOUS!!!!




He pulled out a chair for me to sit! – Noone has EVER done that.

we had a good laugh, easy chat. When we was leaving he walked me to my car and put the moves straight on me!!!!

Snog, snog , snog!!!


My legs were like jelly man! I got in my car and had to wind the window down to ask him how to get out the carpark (cringer!!!). He told me and then leant in and kissed me again.


I virtually skipped home and told my mate all about it!!!


The next day he friend requested me on Facebook and text mornings and evenings.


We arranged the second date for the following week. He asked me and we decided on bowling. I offered to pick him up as he lives near the bowling alleys andthen he could have a drink. 


We spoke every day again, and yet again, on the date of the date he went all silent.

I again stayed very chilled and eventually he texted his address and i went to pick him up.


The second date was really fun. He payed for bowling and kicked my ass at it. We had a laugh. I nearly killed him via an air hockey disk… it was all gravy.


He invited me in his house when i dropped him off. I went in and he made me a tea – I like that he did that. He gave me the tour of his house – it was lovely.

we sat chilling on his sofa till gone midnight and then i had to go as I had the kids to get up for. Again we had a little kiss and off I went.


At the weekend, it was bank holiday. Both of us by chance were out with our mates on the piss. He text me and came to meet me with his mates. Awesome i thought!!!

Drunk “big g” and me would have a right laugh. 


he came an found me, he awkward. No kiss, no offer to get me a drink, no banter – TOTALLY DIFFERENT PERSON AROUND HIS MATES. Then, he just fumed off to the other side of the bar with his mates, so me and my mates left.


I wasn’t too pissed off as I was having a laugh with my mates. I text him the name of the bar we were headed too but never got a reply.


Around 1 am I had a text off Big G, saying he’d taken his drunk mate home.  Then, offering me to go back to his!


I was having a mint time with my girls , plus I was child free for the night… No way was I gonna cut my night short for anyone.

I told him that I would probably go his later as I was having a good time.


He then said not to.


But by the time i’d read that it was 3am, I was smacked off my face on jagerbombs and in a taxi en route to his 🙂


I banged on his door, armed with a massive bag of crisps from the garage. He answered, half asleep and in nothing but a pair of shorts. I was in no fit state. He made me a cup and then I asked for a tshirt to go kip in. He gave me a t shirt and then we went to bed. I must of slipped into a coma at that point as i woke up at 5 am, mouth dryer than ghandi’s flip flop and sweating buckets . The alcohol sweats! He had his arm clamped around me and was snoring PURE loud.


I dozed in and out of sleep. To be honest, its been years since vie been in bed with anyone with their arms around me so it felt kind of weird and i wasn’t comfortable. I also stared t his snoring carcass and decided I didn’t really fancy him. 


In the morning I acted really hungover to keep him at arms length. 


He dropped me home.


I wasn’t going to see him again, but slowly I thought and thought about it and decided to see him one more time. I felt like maybe  I was being too picky and at the end of the day – WHO AM I TO BE PICKY?????!!!


So, we had a few texts and bait of banter but at this point i’d really gone off him and i think he picked up on it as he didn’t text that much either but he kept asking to see me again.


My friend was up from down south with his gf and i’d not seen him for over 10 years. We arranged to meet for drinks and I offered Big G  to come along too.


To my surprise Big G agreed. I tried to include him in the convos between me and my old mate but to be fair it was just bait awk.



By this point i’d completely gone off Big G and in the carpark gave him a quick cuddle and a peck and drove off.


Big G is still oblivious to this, so I tried to let him know by texting him telling him that i really didn’t feel a spark and that i am sad as he ticks the boxes. 


Big G had a Facebook status meltdown “gutted” and ranted via text. Eventually i agreed to just keep seeing him to see if anything developed. We arranged dinner for tonight.


Yesterday, Big G basically “liked” everything I wrote / commented or uploaded on Facebook – even to the point of liking my mates replies to me!


He then whatsapped me a pic of himself, topless, with his tits out, and his stubble shaved into a fucking goatee!!!!! With the caption ” do you like my goatee?”




That was one step too far. I text him and said I cannot see him again and that I am really sorry etc.


He replied “no probs”


i left it


Then, 2 mins later he said ” to be honest i don’t know if i even want a gf as i like playing football, going work and going to the gym”.


I know at this point that he was just saving face, so i went along with it and replied:

“yeh i get that vibe off you too and i think i realised you weren’t bothered too much too”:


he replied ” Id like to keep seeing you to see if anything became of it. be happy”


I ignored.


He tried to ring.


I ignored.


He tried again.


I ignored.


He then text asking me to ring him.


I ignored.


He text again saying he’s not a weirdo and wont keep bothering me. But, if i ever want a chat to call him.




I just couldn’t bring myself to keep seeing someone without a spark. Was I wrong??


4 comments on “No spark, No cigar!

  • No, you haven’t been harsh. He will think so, but you were better to get out now than later. Its a shame, as he seemed to be right early on.

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