I’ve had many experiences with internet dating over the years, some good, some not so good but the following recent story was particularly memorable to say the least and Jemma has kindly allowed me to share it with you.
I’d recently hit the singles market and decided to go swimming in the wonderful pool of POF and try my luck once again on the internet. Very soon I got chatting to a single woman or two children (ages 1 and 3yrs), who I shall name ‘Kirby West’ and in virtuality (if ever a word) sounded perfect.
So Kirby and I arranged a date at a bar to get to know each other over a few drinks (as you do), but a couple of days prior, she texted me to advise that she had been let down by her babysitter and couldn’t get a replacement in time for our date. So instead of cancelling she asked if I would like to go round hers when the kids were in bed instead of cancelling. I obviously thought this was a bit strange as she didn’t know me from Adam or had even laid eyes on me, I mean cummon, I could have been a psycho baby killer. Lucky for her I’m not… well not anymore anyway! So me being me I dismissed the weirdness of the offer and I agreed to go round.
So I get there, bottle of wine in hand, we got chatting and everything was going swimmingly despite the environment and in all fairness she seemed very nice. I’d been there for around half an hour when her 3yr old appeared at the top of the stairs. Now here’s me thinking she’ll just put him back to bed straight away but she called him down to sit with us and before long had all his toys out and he proceeded to use me as a human climbing frame as we continued with our date.
Very shortly after that, the 1yr old gets up and sits at the top of the stairs crying. So again instead of putting him back to bed, Kirby comforted him and brought him down the stairs to sit with us. So at this point I’m thinking WTF??? as I continued to try and get through a date at Go kids Go! Anyway the 1yr old just wouldn’t stop crying, to which she acknowledge and apologised profusely for to be fair, but It was obviously the baby wanted feeding and wouldn’t be stopping anytime soon until he had his supper.
So Kirby had no choice but to give into the baby’s cries and asked if I would I mind. Obviously said no go ahead and feed him, its fine….Then in a heartbeat she’d lifted up her top, lobbed out her right boob and had the baby suckling for England…
Now I’m not normally stuck for words but I was completely gobsmacked… This resulted in an obvious tumbleweed moment so I broke the awkward silence with “well….. This is awkward”… followed by “I’m not sure what to do with myself, I’m quite tempted to get on the other side and hi-five the baby” comment. I chuckled but she didn’t seem to find my humour funny at all.
Needless to say the date continued to go downhill quite rapidly thereafter and I eventually made my excuses and left never to speak a word to her again.
Was he out of order?
What would you do in that situation?