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All posts for the month September, 2012

Wake me up …when September ends

Published September 21, 2012 by jjjemma

It’s the 21 September! Where has this year gone!???
I remember years ago listening to greendays song (the blog title) years ago and wishing sept away… But not this year!!
September has been GREAT for sooo many reasons!
I am in my final year of college and September signifies the beginning of my final 3 terms in education!!!
I have also had news from the CSA. Which seems promising and I feel positive that a financial level of security will be put in place for my children before this years out!!
I have also started Xmas shopping – all you single parents out there know how important it is to start it early to ensure your kids aren’t disheartened on crimbo day.
Today I got my iPhone 5!!! I have been waiting 2 years for this! And finally I treated myself to a decent phone! 3GS is NO MORE!!! Woop!!

My parents celebrate 40 years of marriage (ruby wedding) next Sunday! On the last day of September – which will be a positive way to end this month!
And tomorrow I am running my first ever 10k !!! For cancer research! I’m sitting here all excited and nervous! I can’t wait to put on my t shirt with running number and “who I am running for” badge. I will be thinking of my beautiful family a d friends that I have lost to cancer whilst I am running my hardest tomorrow. I’m ready.
My boys are gonna be watching me and fam & friends ! I realise how extremely lucky I am!!! I finally found myself! Aged 27 🙂

Doing my 1st 10k TOMORROW 🙀. Race for life #cancerresearch Text JEMS84 £5 to 70070 to sponsor me OR CLICK HERE http://t.co/2iU0wGYI 😋

There’s the links if you fancy helping me smash my targets xxxx
Think of me at 10.30am 🙂 xxxx

@barbiedoll_moi

Jemma xxxx💋💋💋💋

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Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Published September 3, 2012 by jjjemma

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

Happy Monday folks 🙂

Last night I watched an emotive documentary on the 9/11 attacks. It shook me to the core to hear and see other peoples real – time accounts of the horrific moments that terror struck those twin towers.
It made me think about life. The value of life. What really matters, and what doesn’t count.

For me, it’s about love – giving, receiving and sharing it. Ive ALWAYS craved love and I doubt I will ever successfully over come that craving.
I always believed that to be loved , you must be beautiful. I know how shallow I must sound right now, but this is my blog and I’m gonna have to speak the truth.

At school I was NEVER THE CUTE ONE. I was always the gangly legged, short dumpy person with a tinge of ginge in her hair. At college, I had to pretend I was someone I was (an emo), just to fit in… And then… Suddenly… I got a boyfriend.

Ricardo has been spoken about in other blogs, he was my first boyfriend and we lived together. He thought the world , planets and stars of me. He would constantly tell me how perfect/beautiful/ gorgeouse/cute/sexy I was. I started to believe my own hype.

Then I met the kids dad (see Dj – in “what is love?”). I was a cocky 19 year old. My confidence was through the roof and I believed I was always the most attractive person in the room. Massive ego. But as you all know, he abused me in just about every possible way, and eventually I cracked, developed eating disorders and was a shell of the person I ever was.

Two men, two years apart, I went from one extreme to another.

At 5 foot 2, I’m teeny. When I was with ric I was a healthy 8 stone. By the time dj had finished with his abuse iwas 6.5 stone. Skeletal.
Totally unattractive, spotty, clothes falling off me and chain smoking to high heaven.

I feel sad at those wasted years, I used to sleep in most of the day to avoid eating and to avoid life.

In the past year. I finally feel I have “grown” into myself. I don’t think I’m STUNNING, but I also accept I’m no Munster. I take care of my appearance , I eat a balanced diet and I exercise more than I ever have in my life, I weigh in just under 8 stone (around 7-12) and I don’t think I am above or below anybody else.

I respect and understand that. It takes more than good looks to be successful in life, or to find that unobtainable love of your life 🙂

Beauty isn’t about perfect symmetry. True beauty is about embracing your imperfections , possessing a good soul and a twinkle In your eye.

And I know that I would rather lived happy life than waste it worrying about aesthetic challenges

Ultimately, those who lost there lives in the twin towers, did not know what fate had in store for them that day . People died, committed suicide, had horrific injuries and burns. We should all be blessed to have a life. We owe it to ourselves and heroes of the past , present and future to really OWN our lives and live to the max.

I quit smoking,started again and quit again- never give up trying to do anything that you REALLY wanna do and don’t sweat the small stuff .
Mwah x

Jemma xxxx

The one of me on the loo is me at my skinniest ( I did get skinnier but no pics on phone)
The other two are me – now. Fit , healthy and happy 🙂

Add me on twitter : @barbiedoll_moi

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